Anyways back to the flat, once I got there I felt much better, dived straight into pullling, lifting, unwrapping and all. Soon we were done and all my team members called it a day and left. The panic came over me again. I had hoped he would come in when someone else was there or I was busy at least. I opened up the window for fresh air to calm me down and also went and freshened up again.
In walked Ben. the prickly heat came over me again.... I walked over extended my hand for a shake, which he took but did not release, he pulled me in for a peck and let me go. There it was again, cool zesty musk....He took off his coat and and scarf, took off his blazer, and walked right by me to the kitchen.
It took a while for me to turn and follow him, I was stood there, scrolling through my pad as if I had lost a file on it, but all I could think about was how good Ben looked! Derrick was pretty boy handsome, any girl would be lucky to have a guy who looks like Derrick. I think the world would find Derrick better looking. Ben though... he was masculine and rough around the edges. His light grey and blue eyes against his caramel brown skin tone was something I have never seen before, I was wondering what his body looked like behind all those clothes.
So I followed into the kitchen, showed him how some of the cabinets worked, also took him to the bedroom and showed him the cabinets we installed. He was impressed with the smart use of space, asked for some changes which I noted down in my pad. He walked back to the hallway, and I stood there wondering what next? I remember it feeling so awkward.
He peeped in and said are you coming with or not? I turned and said oh yea, was just giving it a final sweep. He had his laptop with him, placed it on the work top in the kitchen and plugged it in. He went through his bag, brought out two paper cups and the bottle of the wine we both liked.
Me: You came prepared....
Ben: It has been a long day right?
Me: Yes it has...the silence in between was so awkward.
He turned his laptop on, pulled a stool in and sat, I pulled a stool in and sat beside him. He scrolled to videos, opened the folder and put 24 on... The volume was a bit low so we both reached out to increase it and our hands touched and held for about 5 seconds, my insides back flipped, I pulled out and he increased the volume.
We watched in absolute silence, I was not paying attention to it anyways, I just kept thinking, why is he so quiet, I laughed...oooh'd! and cried out; 'I remember this part!', he just turned looked a me and smiled each time. His smile made me gulp saliva.
He had opened the bottle and I was drinking more than him, I guess because I was so unsettled. Just as the episode ended I got up to pee. When I walked back in he had turned in is stool and was facing the direction I was coming from, so he was looking straight at me as I walked from the loo. He was not smiling or frowning... He was staring at me like I was a painting he was trying to understand....
No one has ever looked at me the way Ben does. Ben stares at me so much, I feel he can see my soul. It felt like his eyes were slowly undressing me. I was so uncomfortable I looked down until I was back at my sit, and even then I picked the empty bottle of wine and started looking for something on it.
He asked if we could watch another episode, I said I could not. I had plans with Derrick, I asked if he had any plans with Becks, he said he was not aware of them if they were. I got up and accidentally dropped my phone. Ben picked it looked at my screen which had a picture of me and Derrick on it for a while, smiled and handed it back to me.
Till I got out of that door, I tried to keep my eyes on everything else except Ben, I could feel his eyes all over me....He said he was going to watch one more episode before going home. I asked him to be safe, packed up my bags, and was walking towards the door. He got up and walked after me, leaned in to give me a goodbye hug and held in....I felt his breathe on my neck...he was smelling my hair..
He pulled out an inch close to my face and asked what smell my shampoo was, our bodies were not touching at all, but we were standing so close to each other, his scent crept into my nostrils, crept into my veins, possessed my entire body, my legs felt like jelly, I felt woozy. He guessed, coconut? cocoa butter? I replied yea to every thing cause my brain was not functioning. I felt so hot inside and my heart started beating so fast that I dropped my face again... Could not dare to lift my face....
Ben lifted my face, held it with the tips of his fingers, moved in to my cheeks and pecked me. He moved back and said good night. I don't think I said anything, I think I just looked down again and walked out....
As I stood waiting for Derrick to drive up the bus stop... I convinced myself I had drank a little to much wine this evening. That was the only way I could cope with the way I was feeling all over....
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